A few weeks ago I made the decision to social distance and isolate myself at home. For the relief of my parents, I travelled back home with 7 outfits and an xbox to my name- priorities. It's safe to say that I didn't bring enough clothes and a swift ASOS shop was completed as soon as the sun came and said 'Hello.' So now I'm stuck at home, with some new clothes and my xbox to keep me occupied and I suddenly remember I am still a University student.
It seems weird to be at home during term time- obviously I'm aware of the current situation but it still doesn't feel 'right.' I've always been more productive in Manchester; I'm in awe of the city and spent the last 7 months exploring it, I didn't really want to leave. Along with that, at university I can feel more creative, I'm independent, I feel free. It's become a struggle to try and finish my course work and revise for (online) exams while only having access to the online library, as well as any other materials I manage to get my hands on.
Despite all this I do feel rather lucky. My current assignment situation has been a simple change over to online assignments and exams whereas some of my friends in other areas have been given extra work, something I don't agree with. I suppose it's because of the situation with GCSE's and A-Level decisions made by the government and schools/ colleges which relieves the pressure from those students. It must be disheartening to be revising over the past year for you're exams to be cancelled but the decisions stuck. Every situation is different, but as a university student who's been waiting until last week to know whether a safety net would be put in place, or what decisions have been made by my university to ensure assignments and exams can still take place, it hasn't been all that good on my mental health.
I'm proud of myself, for having focused since Christmas on getting assignment work done each week to ensure that I wasn't rushing anything- little did I know it would help me massively with COVID-19 coming into play. This doesn't mean that it still hasn't affected me, the threat of what the virus can do topped with trying to get all my work completed to a high standard is mentally draining; I think I haven't realised just how much until now. I want to do well, but there comes a time where my brain just stops- my stopping point has definitely come out this week. I'm finding it really hard to shut off- and as a uni student who's on top of their work, I can only hope that those students who aren't are up for challenge and will get through it.
It's an uncertain time, and I don't want sympathy, I guess this post has been about getting my feelings out, for myself, for my friends- it's something I can look back on, read, and know that I did my best and thats all that can be done. Isolating will challenge the best of us and we have to stick together to get through it; I know I'm not the only one in my situation, feeling the way I feel, but sometimes its best to vent frustration or any other emotions out onto a page (sorry about that or this, I'll be back to regularly scheduled programming next week.)
I feel thankful for what I have around me, and blessed to be where I am, without the decision to come home, I know I'd be feeling a lot worse. In day to day life we find ourselves forgetting about the world around us, so close to home, this isolation has made me realise to approbate all the small things and take time to access what really matters.
In short, I guess watching all other forms of education kind of fade away for the time being feels unfair; but I know that my university will have the best interests at heart. If anyones in the same position, and stuck in a rut, I always find myself saying that once it's done, it's done, so you can go out and enjoy yourself. In this predicament though, once it's done you can treat yourself to your one form of exercise a day or crack on with binge watching the entirety of Netflix.
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